scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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