i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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