Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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