if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
