Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
this hospital has no fireball
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
