I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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