If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have fence marks all over my body
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
