I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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