this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
