She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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