break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
