I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize