PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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