its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
