fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize