Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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