Just cropdusted the office
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize