I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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