hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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