Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
