He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
