what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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