My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
