well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
