Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize