Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
