I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
