Pappa wants mamma naked
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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