just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
