I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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