So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
