I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
this boner is exhausting
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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