You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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