she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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