bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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