Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
