So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
