before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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