i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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