I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
