I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
