This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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