So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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