It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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