dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
