Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
