it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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