have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize