I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
