Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
