Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
