I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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