it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
