I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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