So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dignity is for republicans.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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