$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
