If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
