He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
