I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Drake has all the answers
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
