i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need a burrito and a hug.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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