I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
