you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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